"What kind of friend am I?"

Yes, I'm new to this. Yes, I don't know how well this will turn out. But who is there to stop me?
Well, it seems to me that this type of blog is for letting your emotions out and letting you have the ability to say what you really want to say but can't. Not out loud at least. So here I go, I guess...

I'm not angry.
We've known each other for such a long time but recently I've found out that you haven't been opening up to me. No matter how many times I remember laughing with you, talking with you, screaming with you and joking with you. They weren't really happy times were they?
You say my life is perfect, my relationship is perfect, anything else about me could be perfect but the truth is, I'm not. My life isn't perfect. My relationship isn't perfect. And I'm definitely not perfect.

You've been fighting these emotional conflicts inside your head as you listened to me gush about how happy I was or what me and him did on our date just days ago. You'd smile, you'd squeal and giggle with me as I'd retell you the stories of what happened where and when, what we said, everything.

The only thing that I'm feeling right now is regret. Even though we were so close, I never did recall asking you how you felt about anything. I remember asking you if something new happened and you'd tell me of the simple things you did that week. But you never really told me about the deeper things that mattered. The important things.

You'd be suffering, and I'd just be telling you about the happiest moments of my day.

I hope you can forgive me.