Okay, okay, it's been forever since my last post, I know. But you know what? So many things have happened. I'll get to catching up later. Right now I just want to get this off my chest.
I'm sensitive. I know I am.
Little things you say or little things you do might not seem like a big deal. But I'm very observant so of course I'll pick up on it. I'll think about it over and over again until it drives me crazy. I'll come up with reasons as to why things were said, why things were done; and no matter how much I try to rationalize, it always comes down to me.
'It's your fault.'
'It's because of you.'
'You're a fool.'
'Don't think so highly of yourself.'
'You're nothing special.'
'You never were.'
These thoughts find themselves racing across my mind; over and over again. Just repeating; one after the other.
To the people I care about, I want them to be happy. I want to make them happy. When they think of me, I want them to remember good things about me. I want them to be able to talk about me with only good things.
I'm-
I'm starting to feel like I can't open up anymore.
If I keep up this barrier, this facade, will it be okay?
For now, I'll just rely on this blog to let me open up. It won't be found until later on anyways.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Buon Giorngo, readers!
It is a new year, thus a new chapter in our lives and I just wanted to tell you that I have started a new blog! Oh no, I'm not abandoning this one. Because this one will always be about everyday things. The other one will be all my adventures and stories about interviews.
I think my work will speak for itself so I would be honored, or just plain happy if you took the time to read it. I'lltry to update it with every interview I experience.
*Click*
I think my work will speak for itself so I would be honored, or just plain happy if you took the time to read it. I'll
*Click*
Friday, November 19, 2010
19/11/2010
Okay, well... I won't be able to pull off my... err... somewhat New Year's resolution, haha.
But anyways! It's snowing everybody! You know what that means! Snowball fights, snowmen, ice skating, shoveling, igloo making and Christmas!
But before that, let me tell you. Unlike all those snow-haters out there, I really don't dislike snow.
As a matter of fact. I love snow.
In my eyes, snow is the symbol of renewal. Snow is there to build up, and as spring time comes, it melts away. Once it's melted, spring comes with a flurry of blooming flowers and chirping birds. It's the process of a new beginning. It's life telling us that this is a new chapter in our lives. A clean slate. Thus people come up with New Year's resolutions.
But anyways!
Today I helped my mom put up the Christmas tree. That was fun.
I'm actually unsure if there's sarcasm in there or not.
On a side note, I've finally applied for a bank account.
*cough*online.*cough*
And! In two days, I will apparently get an email to go to the bank with 2 pieces of identification and a cheque of $50 minimum to cash in. So yay~! I finally got that out of the way!
More to update later!... In a few days!
See ya!
--Ophelia.
But anyways! It's snowing everybody! You know what that means! Snowball fights, snowmen, ice skating, shoveling, igloo making and Christmas!
But before that, let me tell you. Unlike all those snow-haters out there, I really don't dislike snow.
As a matter of fact. I love snow.
In my eyes, snow is the symbol of renewal. Snow is there to build up, and as spring time comes, it melts away. Once it's melted, spring comes with a flurry of blooming flowers and chirping birds. It's the process of a new beginning. It's life telling us that this is a new chapter in our lives. A clean slate. Thus people come up with New Year's resolutions.
But anyways!
Today I helped my mom put up the Christmas tree. That was fun.
I'm actually unsure if there's sarcasm in there or not.
On a side note, I've finally applied for a bank account.
*cough*online.*cough*
And! In two days, I will apparently get an email to go to the bank with 2 pieces of identification and a cheque of $50 minimum to cash in. So yay~! I finally got that out of the way!
More to update later!... In a few days!
See ya!
--Ophelia.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
1901-- I mean 2010
Hello all, how I've missed you dearly! And ha! I told you I'd blog again.
Well, for the record, Raph has learned a few more tricks up his furry sleeve. Those tricks being "Stand", "High-five", "Paw", and "Speak". Although his I.Q. has risen, he remains to be a brute that bites anything that moves.
Oh, also, news on the job search? Not going so well. I did however get an interview for Salsbury house. But that's all I ever really got. It's been two days since and I didn't get a call back. My hope is pretty much zilch right now. But I will not give up!
Other than that, I have been forcing myself to produce lines for the stories I've kept on hiatus for so long. And hopefully, instead of manually turning the gears in the creative side of my head, they'll finally start turning on their own.
Yes, unlike my last blog, this one was short. But I'll just say that it's because I held in my emotions and the last blog was just me vomiting it up.
Haha!
....
Man that's so gross.
Well, for the record, Raph has learned a few more tricks up his furry sleeve. Those tricks being "Stand", "High-five", "Paw", and "Speak". Although his I.Q. has risen, he remains to be a brute that bites anything that moves.
Oh, also, news on the job search? Not going so well. I did however get an interview for Salsbury house. But that's all I ever really got. It's been two days since and I didn't get a call back. My hope is pretty much zilch right now. But I will not give up!
Other than that, I have been forcing myself to produce lines for the stories I've kept on hiatus for so long. And hopefully, instead of manually turning the gears in the creative side of my head, they'll finally start turning on their own.
Yes, unlike my last blog, this one was short. But I'll just say that it's because I held in my emotions and the last blog was just me vomiting it up.
Haha!
....
Man that's so gross.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Hello, hello, hello.
So what? It's been like, five months since I last posted?---
Don't answer that. I know it has been.
Well, all I can really say is that.... Life caught up to me at a red light.
Hmm... should I put it that way?
Would that phrase even justify the way that I feel?
Arghh, I don't even know.
....
Well now, if text could have strange, awkward pauses. I think now would've been said text.
....
Ahh, what to say? What to say?--- My family dog died. Yes, July 25th, 2010. And yes again, 3 days after my birthday. Woohoo. /Sarcasm
His name was Doogie Howser, he was a mixed breed of Terrier and something else that god only knows. He was born June 3rd, 1996. So he lived a life of 14 years. He was a smart enough dog, knew how to jump "up", "sit" down, "lay/lie" on his side or back, go "outside" and go to the "kitchen" where he often slept at night.
We cried the day he died. We cried, we mourned, we even drank. He wasn't just a dog, we didn't see him as just a dog. He was a family member. A sibling. One of us.
So, we had him cremated, put into an urn, and now he sits on top of a shelf in the border of the living room and the hallway. It's kind of perfect in a sense because he has a great view of the living room, front door and kitchen. Kind of like he's still guarding the house.
Although I'm pretty sure Doogie wasn't fond of heights.
Anyways, a week or so later my dad brought up that he wants to get a new dog. Not to replace Doogie, oh heavens no, no one can ever replace Doogie. He just wanted a guard dog so that the family would be safe.
And un ta-dah!-- We got Raph. Raph, short for Raphael. One of the four important archangels, but more so one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yep. You heard read right.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Raphael, the turtle with the red bandana. Most of the time called a hothead and a brute. Funny, sounds just like Raph.
Raph is a puppy that is currently a little bit over 2 months old. He's a mix breed of Golden Retriever, German Shepard, Labrador and Husky. So in due time I believe he'll be quite big. He is indeed a brute and likes to bite due to teething. He tends to attack legs when you're walking by and hands when you're about to pet him.
The only thing he knows right now is "fetch", "sit", "stay" (although he really doesn't like to), and "pee everywhere in the house until every square inch is drenched".
But other than that last one and the whole attacking human limbs, he's just great!
Other than that, today is September the 9th 10th, and I am doing nothing.
Absolutely nothing. I am unemployed, well, looking for a job despite the fact that I am very, very, very, very, unmotivated. Oh wait, don't get me wrong. I'm very willing to-- you know-- get a job, go to work, etc. It's just that... I'm just... unmotivated at life...?
...Is it really that? ...I'm not quite sure anymore.
I've just been waking up, doing nothing really. Just playing psp, watching over the dog, eating, sleeping and waking up again. I think I'm just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. I don't have school anymore, so I don't really have any place to go during the daytime. But I think I just have to make myself realize that nothing really is going to happen. Unless I make it happen.
So I guess tomorrow, today, I'll walk to Tim Hortons and hand in my application that I filled out-- special thanks to my awesome sister-- and maybe walk to other places and hand in resumes there as well.
Hmm... was that all I had to say?
Oh! Speaking of being a dead weight daughter, I watched Hellcats yesterday two days ago! It was everything I thought it would be and pretty much more. I will definitely be watching it every wednesday at 9 or 11 pm. Oh yeah! I also watched Nikita today yesterday! And WOW, it blew my mind! Every thursday at 11pm.
Are you still wondering what brought me back here?
Well... you do look curious. I guess I'll tell you.
My sister started writing again. She's amazing at writing and she asked me for some help on expanding ideas about her story. I have experience in writing so I helped as much as I could. She was thrilled with what I had to say. So thrilled that we came up with a sort of game where someone would come up with a theme, and the other would come up with a plot for said theme.
Her theme: Disappointment.
My plot: Two best friends. Friend A who loves Friend B, but B only regards A as a best friend and loves another. This story revolves around Friend A and the many disappointments she experiences being forced into the corner known as the friend zone. Of course, in a desperate act to fill the empty void that all those disappointments created, Friend A begins dating other people. But low and behold, the void cannot be filled, so she dates someone else... and someone else... and someone else. The story ends with her never filling that void. Very tragic.
To conclude this little story,
my sister was speechless and demanded that I write a full story on this so voilà!
I am writing again as well.
Although I have only written a paragraph, I do admit that I have been putting it off. I feel that I've lost all my writing talent from lack of writing-- if I even had any talent for writing at all.
But I had hoped that, if I came back to blogspot and wrote an update, it'd help ease me back into writing again. So...
Here's to finishing this blog update. Hopefully, I'll stick to it this time.
--Ophelia.
Don't answer that. I know it has been.
Well, all I can really say is that.... Life caught up to me at a red light.
Hmm... should I put it that way?
Would that phrase even justify the way that I feel?
Arghh, I don't even know.
....
Well now, if text could have strange, awkward pauses. I think now would've been said text.
....
Ahh, what to say? What to say?--- My family dog died. Yes, July 25th, 2010. And yes again, 3 days after my birthday. Woohoo. /Sarcasm
His name was Doogie Howser, he was a mixed breed of Terrier and something else that god only knows. He was born June 3rd, 1996. So he lived a life of 14 years. He was a smart enough dog, knew how to jump "up", "sit" down, "lay/lie" on his side or back, go "outside" and go to the "kitchen" where he often slept at night.
We cried the day he died. We cried, we mourned, we even drank. He wasn't just a dog, we didn't see him as just a dog. He was a family member. A sibling. One of us.
So, we had him cremated, put into an urn, and now he sits on top of a shelf in the border of the living room and the hallway. It's kind of perfect in a sense because he has a great view of the living room, front door and kitchen. Kind of like he's still guarding the house.
Although I'm pretty sure Doogie wasn't fond of heights.
Anyways, a week or so later my dad brought up that he wants to get a new dog. Not to replace Doogie, oh heavens no, no one can ever replace Doogie. He just wanted a guard dog so that the family would be safe.
And un ta-dah!-- We got Raph. Raph, short for Raphael. One of the four important archangels, but more so one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yep. You heard read right.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Raphael, the turtle with the red bandana. Most of the time called a hothead and a brute. Funny, sounds just like Raph.
Raph is a puppy that is currently a little bit over 2 months old. He's a mix breed of Golden Retriever, German Shepard, Labrador and Husky. So in due time I believe he'll be quite big. He is indeed a brute and likes to bite due to teething. He tends to attack legs when you're walking by and hands when you're about to pet him.
The only thing he knows right now is "fetch", "sit", "stay" (although he really doesn't like to), and "pee everywhere in the house until every square inch is drenched".
But other than that last one and the whole attacking human limbs, he's just great!
Other than that, today is September the 9th 10th, and I am doing nothing.
Absolutely nothing. I am unemployed, well, looking for a job despite the fact that I am very, very, very, very, unmotivated. Oh wait, don't get me wrong. I'm very willing to-- you know-- get a job, go to work, etc. It's just that... I'm just... unmotivated at life...?
...Is it really that? ...I'm not quite sure anymore.
I've just been waking up, doing nothing really. Just playing psp, watching over the dog, eating, sleeping and waking up again. I think I'm just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. I don't have school anymore, so I don't really have any place to go during the daytime. But I think I just have to make myself realize that nothing really is going to happen. Unless I make it happen.
So I guess tomorrow, today, I'll walk to Tim Hortons and hand in my application that I filled out-- special thanks to my awesome sister-- and maybe walk to other places and hand in resumes there as well.
Hmm... was that all I had to say?
Oh! Speaking of being a dead weight daughter, I watched Hellcats yesterday two days ago! It was everything I thought it would be and pretty much more. I will definitely be watching it every wednesday at 9 or 11 pm. Oh yeah! I also watched Nikita today yesterday! And WOW, it blew my mind! Every thursday at 11pm.
Are you still wondering what brought me back here?
Well... you do look curious. I guess I'll tell you.
My sister started writing again. She's amazing at writing and she asked me for some help on expanding ideas about her story. I have experience in writing so I helped as much as I could. She was thrilled with what I had to say. So thrilled that we came up with a sort of game where someone would come up with a theme, and the other would come up with a plot for said theme.
Her theme: Disappointment.
My plot: Two best friends. Friend A who loves Friend B, but B only regards A as a best friend and loves another. This story revolves around Friend A and the many disappointments she experiences being forced into the corner known as the friend zone. Of course, in a desperate act to fill the empty void that all those disappointments created, Friend A begins dating other people. But low and behold, the void cannot be filled, so she dates someone else... and someone else... and someone else. The story ends with her never filling that void. Very tragic.
To conclude this little story,
my sister was speechless and demanded that I write a full story on this so voilà!
I am writing again as well.
Although I have only written a paragraph, I do admit that I have been putting it off. I feel that I've lost all my writing talent from lack of writing-- if I even had any talent for writing at all.
But I had hoped that, if I came back to blogspot and wrote an update, it'd help ease me back into writing again. So...
Here's to finishing this blog update. Hopefully, I'll stick to it this time.
--Ophelia.
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